Well, let's see what we have here …
It was a pretty plain day. I never did talk to [name omitted] like I had intended. I guess that I'm a little scared about it. But I'll talk to her sooner or later …
The Amy saga lingers on like 'As The World Turns' or some other such nonsense. It appears that Mike went on a date with Shauna, and kissed her. Guess who he didn't tell? Wow — I'm having Deja Vu … Also, Amy apparently thinks that I 'made fun of her' (according to my friend Joe) while she was tuning the band at last Thursday's concert. This infuriated me to say the least. Not only did I NOT make fun of her, I don't think that I've said more than two bad words about her EVER. So, the fact that she could have even conceded this notion is just another example of her lack of care for me. I related this to my friends (well, that's stretching it) Dave and Travis, both friends of Amy's. And I also told them that if Amy did care for me at all and if she did want to talk to me, she had my number and I would always be willing to talk to her. Travis confronted me on the fact that I've been avoiding her. I agreed to an extent … As far as I can gather, he thinks I'm scum. I defended my position that she stopped speaking to me. But Travis made it perfectly clear that she had bigger fish to fry (Mike / Shauna) and didn't have time to deal with me, basically because I'm no longer important. — Okay, so he didn't say that, but that was about the gist of it … As I was walking down the hall after 4th hour, she was walking towards me. She just looked at me with the sad look that, from what I can gather, only she can give …
I finally talked to Rachael today. She told me that she wasn't mad at me. But she was mad about something — that I am sure of. I've pretty much given up on anything with her at this point. If she is mad at me or something I did, then she's just patronizing me. The way I figure it, I've already lost most of, if not all of my important friends — it was only a matter of time before I lost her too …
Nothing's going my way. I'm thinking more about just 'ending it all'. I'm sick of being hurt, I'm sick of being ignored, I'm sick of being taken advantage of, being stabbed in the back, laughed at … I'm really sick of it all. I truly believe that no one would miss me if I were gone …
Chris Elliot was right — "Each day's better than the next" Hopefully, things will look up soon …