Well, she didn't waste any time.…

From: "Jen­nifer Van Ort"
To: chris@chrislanphear.com
Sub­ject: Re: WOW
Date: Mon, 14 May 2001 21:54:26 –0600

Chris–

As stu­pid as it is that I am e-mailing you instead of talk­ing to you in per­son feel I should explain myself and since it is too late to call you and obvi­ously we never get to talk dur­ing the day, so here goes:

My thoughts on you have not changed at all in real­ity — "yeah right", you are prob­a­bly think­ing right now con­sid­er­ing the hate­ful words I wrote last night. First, I apoli­gize for that — it was more my vent­ing al lot of hurt con­fu­sion about sev­eral things rather than all meant for you. What started it all was you actions dur­ing prom. I guess I am more to blame than you but felt almost mocked when you danced with me con­sid­er­ing you hardly said any­thing to me and Megan and Natalie, etc had to mon­i­tor us the entire song.

It really seemed like a forced oblig­a­tion than your choice and that really hurt. Then I just had to endure you and Megan on cloud nine all night wish­ing more than any­thing that it was me in your arms and my eyes you were gaz­ing into lov­ingly. So in my depressed con­fu­sion I sought out your jour­nal on Sun­day night (tech­ni­cally really early Mon­day morn­ing instead of study­ing for my AP test) hop­ing it would offer some insight into my aparently hope­less long­ing. How­ever, the only insight I found on the site was that I was right about you and Megan and you asked her out FOUR days after flirt­ing with me. That was the ulti­mate blow. You lied to me about not ask­ing her out for a long time and that con­vinced me even more that I was just some one night fling– which fur­ther added to my fruh­stra­tion about Fri­day which seemed like just another repeat of the first fling. Moral of story — I felt very used and now am very con­fused. I do still like you a lot and now won­der what it means that you like me too but I guess that just means we are back at ground zero. Sorry for attack­ing you — it has been a long and very odd week­end and I really want some­thing to hap­pen between us.

Talk to you soon (hope­fully since I miss what we shared on Friday!)

Jenn

Today was Megan and I's 3 Month Anniversary!!!

Things were great! It wasn't really planned, but it ended up being our "gag gift" anniver­sary: Megan bought me a dress-up-as-Batman play suit, and I bought her a pair of black Victoria's Secret thong under­wear… Actu­ally, I pur­chased this with Lizzy and Keeli a few weeks ago when they "drug me" (aka I went because I needed some­thing to do) under­wear shop­ping with them.

Any­way, it was a lot of fun. Megan and I agreed to wear each other's present at school the next day. Ahh … she's so great.

But I still have to deal with the rest of this shit …