I needed time to col­lect my thoughts today. Now that the "com­pe­ti­tion" is over, I find myself think­ing more about Megan. There are so many ways I could screw this up. I don't know if it's worth it to fuck up another one of my friend­ships. On top of that, I'm not that con­fi­dent in myself when I'm in a rela­tion­ship. Oh shit …