I've spent the bet­ter part of today read­ing some of the old, old, old jour­nal entries. Inter­est­ing, retarded, mind-boggling, they were. (Although, I'm sure I'll say the same thing about these ones in a few years.)

A pat­tern. I seem to prover­bially throw myself into a cycle of very unpro­duc­tive behav­iour. Espe­cially with rela­tion­ships. Why do I con­stantly feel the need to go right back to a sit­u­a­tion with a per­son where either: A. I've hurt them, or B. They've hurt me? I still do it, and I'm not sure why. Per­haps because that no mat­ter how it may affect me, it's famil­iar, and there­fore, eas­ier to deal with. That's crap, really, though. An excuse for some­thing that doesn't deserve one.

I need to break this cycle. This can't be healthy. Once some­thing ends, need to move on. Move on, Chris.

They say that hind­sight is 20/20. I guess I'll find out if this "clar­ity" actu­ally does me any good.