"Ever have so much to say that you don't know where to start? I've been like that for the past cou­ple of days; too much to say, too many peo­ple to say it to, and the end result is that I close down my email appli­ca­tion and go do some­thing else for a lit­tle while…"
Amy, domesticat.net

I've felt like this recently too, and thank God that Lady Moon has offered some sort of dis­trac­tion from all of this, but anyway…

This past week or so with [name omit­ted]^* has been noth­ing short of an eye-opening expe­ri­ence for me. After a long walk last night and a 70 minute con­ver­sa­tion with a friend today, I was able to real­ize some­thing about all of this.

I am a nov­elty… and I don't care.

It's an even thing for both of us. I, as strange as it may seem for all of you that know me (and why would you be here if you didn't know me any­way?), am an ego-boost for her, and she is the exact same thing for me. I've been feel­ing so down­trod­den for over a month, and the fact that this woman just wants me was so… reas­sur­ing. It made me think, for the first time, "Wow… I'm not as hor­ri­ble of a per­son as I thought I've been."

I'm sure this is some­thing that won't last, and I don't plan for it to. But it's shown me that I am a per­son wor­thy of com­pan­ion­ship and trust. For that, I am very thank­ful, see­ing as how noth­ing else, or no one else was will­ing to do so. And even though I wish there was, I can't think like that any­more, because it's not going to happen.

It's time to start anew now. Baby-steps forward…

*Most of you know why this has been omit­ted by now, so please don't ask.