This is so hard for me to handle.

"How are you?"
"I'm fine… how are you?"
"I'm terrible…"

She's fine. I am glad for her, but…

I don't know if I can do this… it's so fuck­ing hard…

I can con­tinue to wait and hope that things turn out for the best, or… I can do some­thing that I won't ever be able to take back.

No mat­ter what I do, I don't think I will sur­vive it…