Posted this morn­ing on Indigo's site:

You can never be happy if you don't allow your­self to be vulnerable.

There­fore the prospect of being happy is scary.

To be happy means one needs to be vul­ner­a­ble…
…and to be vul­ner­a­ble leaves the pos­si­bil­ity of being hurt.

One can­not love if they do not accept the pos­si­bil­ity of being hurt.

Is the inverse true?

If your heart sinks… you hurt… want to cry… that it's love?

Point­less though, because I know it is.

Part of me doesn't want it to be… because that part knows that with love comes hurt… and all of the opti­mism in the world can't over­come that.

[snip]… I was just say­ing last­night to some­one never to get involved with some­one who hasn't been involved with another before, because there will be wan­der­lust within that other per­son… and devel­op­ing a seri­ous rela­tion­ship will be met with the other want­ing to see oth­ers even­tu­ally… just in case it isn't right. I see this already… and there isn't a damn thing I can do about it.…. other than lay down, hold my body pil­low and wish for what might be some­day… which is what I'm going to do right now.

Yep, that was me. I wish I had a body pillow…