So, I'm attempt­ing, for what rea­son I still don't know, to visit Megan in Novem­ber. All of my friends, fam­ily, and stuffed ani­mals say it's a bad idea to go see her. But I can't help it. Damn me for lov­ing her! I wish, oh God I wish I could just. turn. it. off.

On top of this, why does she have to be so gawd­damn dif­fi­cult all of the time?

Ses­sion Start (AIM — TheSmilingPeanut:Megan): Mon Oct 14 19:45:58 2002
[19:47] The Smil­ing Peanut: hey, everything's cleared for the week­end in nov. !
[19:47] Megan: nice
[19:47] The Smil­ing Peanut: that is, if you still want me to visit
[19:47] Megan: I'll put it on my cal­en­dar …now you get the fun of work­ing out plane tics!
[19:47] The Smil­ing Peanut: you didn't answer the quet­sion
[19:47] The Smil­ing Peanut: *ques­tion
[19:48] Megan: no, I don't want you to come out at all, I'm just humor­ing you
[19:48] The Smil­ing Peanut: ok fine
[19:48] Megan: of course I want you to visit me, doo­fus
[19:48] Megan: lol
[19:48] The Smil­ing Peanut:
[19:48] Megan: aw, don't be sad! We'll have fun! (but not that kind)
[19:49] The Smil­ing Peanut: i'm sad b/c you're being mean
[19:49] Megan: am not
[19:49] The Smil­ing Peanut: [19:48] Megan: no, I don't want you to come out at all, I'm just humor­ing you
[19:49] The Smil­ing Peanut:
[19:49] Megan: that's known as sar­casm
[19:49] The Smil­ing Peanut: :-< <
[19:50] Megan: um, what kind of a face is that?
[19:50] The Smil­ing Peanut: i'm not talk­ing to you any­more.…
[19:50] Megan: awwww …
[19:50] Megan: come on, I was just kid­ding
[19:51] Megan: you are *so* damn sen­si­tive!
[19:51] The Smil­ing Peanut: am not!
[19:51] Megan: are to, and there-you talked again! Ha!
[19:52] The Smil­ing Peanut: *thinks about block­ing Megan, and can­celling plane tix*
[19:52] Megan: I know you're not really think­ing that
[19:52] The Smil­ing Peanut: no you don't
[19:52] Megan: yes, I do
[19:53] The Smil­ing Peanut: no you don't
[19:53] Megan: do so
[19:53] Megan: thbbbbbbbbbppppppppppppt here we go again
[19:53] The Smil­ing Peanut: NO you DON'T
[19:53] Megan: grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
[19:55] The Smil­ing Peanut: where are we going?
[19:55] Megan: huh?
[19:55] The Smil­ing Peanut: [19:53] Megan: thbbbbbbbbbppppppppppppt here we go again
[19:56] Megan: "yes I do, no you don't, do so, do not, do so, do not …etc."
[19:57] The Smil­ing Peanut: well, you don't.
[19:57] Megan: rowr
[20:00] Megan: and why are you aggravated?

(Hmm… I wonder!)

[20:00] Megan: very cute, by the way
[20:00] The Smil­ing Peanut: thanks
[20:00] The Smil­ing Peanut: eh, because.…
[20:00] Megan: because why?!?!?!
[20:00] Megan: tell me tell me tell me tell me …or I'll start being a pest!
[20:00] The Smil­ing Peanut: heh, that's in the 'pri­vate jour­nal' tee-hee!
[20:01] Megan: (I'm good at that)
[20:01] The Smil­ing Peanut: i know,
[20:01] Megan: you stink …phew!
[20:02] Megan: tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Please?
[20:02] The Smil­ing Peanut: NO
[20:02] Megan: why not?
[20:02] The Smil­ing Peanut: because i don't wanna?
[20:02] Megan: why not?
[20:02] The Smil­ing Peanut: must i defend each and every one of my actions to you?
[20:02] Megan: grr
[20:02] Megan: fine then
[20:02] The Smil­ing Peanut: thank you
[20:03] The Smil­ing Peanut: maybe i'll let you read the pri­vate jour­nal some­time.…
[20:03] Megan: nah, I don't care
[20:03] The Smil­ing Peanut: then why ask?
[20:03] Megan: pass­ing inter­est
[20:03] The Smil­ing Peanut: oh, thanks.…
[20:03] Megan: *shrug*
[20:04] The Smil­ing Peanut: grr.…
[20:06] The Smil­ing Peanut: well, aren't you talk­a­tive.…
[20:06] Megan: um …were we talk­ing about some­thing?
[20:06] The Smil­ing Peanut: [19:45] Megan: Ha, I know you're not too pre­oc­cu­pied to talk to li'l ole me …right?
[20:07] The Smil­ing Peanut: whad­did you wanna talk about?
[20:07] Megan: I dunno, any­thing?
[20:07] Megan: except maybe argu­ing
[20:07] The Smil­ing Peanut: i was never argu­ing with you

(At least, I wasn't try­ing to argue.)

[20:07] The Smil­ing Peanut:
[20:07] Megan: that's sort of a waste of per­fectly good band­width
[20:07] The Smil­ing Peanut: heh, megan's using geek words
[20:07] Megan: well, pre­tend­ing to get offended, etc.
[20:07] Megan: megan's a closet geek
[20:08] The Smil­ing Peanut: i didn't pre­tend a thing, actu­ally
[20:08] Megan: ok, well, what­ever it was that was going on
[20:08] The Smil­ing Peanut: yeah.…
[20:08] The Smil­ing Peanut: i was just try­ing to ask if you still wanted me to come and visit, and you seemed indif­fer­ent to the ques­tion. that's all.…
[20:09] Megan: of course I still want you to come! Why would I have encour­aged you to go to all that trou­ble of get­ting those days off if I didn't want you to come out?
[20:10] Megan: I'm not indif­fer­ent, that's just the damn imper­son­al­ity of AIM
[20:10] The Smil­ing Peanut: i don't know, again, that's why i was ask­ing
[20:10] Megan: ok, well, now you know?
[20:10] The Smil­ing Peanut: um, i guess?
[20:12] Megan: I just told you. I'm glad you're com­ing, I'm get­ting lonely.
[20:12] Megan: really
[20:12] Megan: and I feel like show­ing off my school to some­one
[20:12] The Smil­ing Peanut: i'm sorry.… why are you get­ting lonely? i thought you had tons of friends.…
[20:12] Megan: eh
[20:12] The Smil­ing Peanut: eh?
[20:12] The Smil­ing Peanut: talk to me.…
[20:13] Megan: I keep get­ting the "we're just tol­er­at­ing you till you go away" vibe …I reme­ber that from ele­men­tary school …don't wanna go through it again.
[20:13] Megan: but every­one says that gets bet­ter …it's only the third week of school, after all
[20:17] The Smil­ing Peanut: i'm sorry.… well, i'm invad­ing cali, so those peo­ple bet­ter watch out!
[20:18] Megan: lol
[20:18] Megan: I'll warn them …maybe
[20:18] The Smil­ing Peanut: nah, a sur­prise attack is always bet­ter
[20:23] Megan: lol
[20:23] Megan: ok
[20:25] The Smil­ing Peanut: too bad you're lonely… ya know, you can call me *any­time*
[20:25] Megan: I know, thank you.
[20:25] Megan:
[20:26] The Smil­ing Peanut: *hugs*
[20:26] Megan: yay!
[20:26] Megan: *hugged*
[20:27] The Smil­ing Peanut: it's ok… i'll come over and we'll have lots of fun!
[20:27] Megan: ok!
[20:27] Megan: should I arrange for my roo­mate to move out for the week­end?
[20:27] Megan: just kid­ding.
[20:28] The Smil­ing Peanut: well i thought i was stay­ing w/ you?
[20:28] The Smil­ing Peanut: no?
[20:28] Megan: oh, I thought you said you were get­ting a hotel …con­fused!
[20:29] The Smil­ing Peanut: well it'd be cool if i could stay w/ you… i'm not *com­pletely* made of money, ya know!
[20:31] The Smil­ing Peanut: but if not, it's ok.… i'll get a hotel.…
[20:32] Megan: lol …I'll look into it …it's really not cheap to stay around here, although I could rec­om­mend a few places on Santa Mon­ica Blvd. that are only a lit­tle sleazy
[20:32] The Smil­ing Peanut: only a lit­tle? sounds right up your alley! (j/k )
[20:32] The Smil­ing Peanut: eh, just kick your room­mate out! hehe
[20:33] Megan: grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
[20:33] The Smil­ing Peanut: wha?
[20:33] Megan: I'm sure she'll love that.
[20:33] Megan: since I have to live with her for the entire year, I'm try­ing to be nice
[20:33] The Smil­ing Peanut: you told me you guys had a deal.…
[20:33] Megan: as she puts it : "remem­ber, we sleep in the same room"
[20:33] The Smil­ing Peanut: .…..
[20:34] Megan: yeah, I know, I don't wanna just kick her out but usu­ally these guys are pretty under­stand­ing if a boyfriend/friend/ex/whatever is coming

I can't fuck­ing believe I'm doing this.…