[17:28] Jenn VanOrt: Hey,
[17:28] *** Auto-response sent to Jenn VanOrt: I stepped out for a second… or several, rather. Don't worry, I'll be back soon. Call if you need me. (But doesn't everyone need me?)
–CL
[17:29] Jenn VanOrt: know you aren't there…but I have something to say to you so figured I would leave a message rather than call–don't really know what I have to say so thinking before typing is probably better for everyone..
[17:32] Jenn VanOrt: anyway, caughtmyself curious about you and what you have been up to so I broke down and visited the website/journal–something I ahve been trying not to do since you told me about your feelings for me for fear of what nasty things you might tell the world about me…was relieved to find my importance had only been exaggerratted in my head and I was nowhere to be found in your writing…but I was disapointed to realize I totally didn't understand anything I had read since I have been such a..well, excuse my language but, such a SHIT about keeping in touch and what not.…
[17:35] Jenn VanOrt: so I fugured I would write to say hi and a belated Merry Christmas and how have ya been???
[17:35] Jenn VanOrt: also to ask you to please call me sometime …gonna be gone for 2 weeks starting the 30th of Dec but would love to see you before or after taht…chat over coffee or soemthing…if you want
[17:35] Jenn VanOrt: well hope whatever you went out for went well
[17:36] Jenn VanOrt: and hope to hear from you soon
[17:36] Jenn VanOrt: bye Chris
[17:43] *** Jenn VanOrt signed off at Thu Dec 26 17:43:19 2002.
Session Close (Jenn VanOrt): Thu Dec 26 19:32:51 2002
Session Start (AIM — TheSmilingPeanut:Jenn VanOrt): Sat Dec 28 16:44:16 2002
[16:44] CL: hi Jenn.
[16:44] *** Auto-response from Jenn VanOrt: Busy.
[16:44] Jenn VanOrt: hi
[16:45] CL: how're you?
[16:45] Jenn VanOrt: antsy
[16:45] Jenn VanOrt: ready to go on vacation
[16:45] CL: hehe
[16:45] Jenn VanOrt: how r u?
[16:45] CL: good
[16:45] CL: i got your message
[16:46] Jenn VanOrt: which one
[16:46] Jenn VanOrt: ?
[16:46] CL: um, all of 'em.
[16:46] Jenn VanOrt: hehe
[16:47] CL: i'm not sure what to say, but it would be good to see you and actually sit down and talk.
[16:48] Jenn VanOrt: this is true
[16:48] CL: i dunno about you, but i'm available pretty much all weekend.….cuz i'd like to talk before you leave, but if that doesn't work out, then.… bleh.
[16:49] Jenn VanOrt: well, unfortunately I am not available at all this weekend and we leave tomorrow night
[16:49] CL: 
[16:49] CL: although i'd be remiss if i said i were surprised
[16:50] Jenn VanOrt: surprised about what??
[16:50] CL: that you were busy
[16:50] Jenn VanOrt: oh…
[16:51] Jenn VanOrt: not so much busy–just have 2 weeks to pack for and housekeeping stuff to do
[16:51] Jenn VanOrt: and am a half hour from anywhere in town
[16:52] CL: i see
[16:52] CL: i love how you say something like, "let's hang out" and then follow-up with, "but, no, i'm busy".…
[16:52] Jenn VanOrt: hey cool
[16:52] CL: eh?
[16:52] Jenn VanOrt: lets attack me now for just offering a suggestion
[16:53] CL: i'm not attacking you
[16:53] Jenn VanOrt: I didn't say tomorrow I mean in genereal
[16:53] Jenn VanOrt: geex
[16:53] CL: i know
[16:53] Jenn VanOrt: sorry I won't say things like that anymore then
[16:53] Jenn VanOrt:
[16:53] CL: it's ok.… just a bit frustrating is all
[16:53] Jenn VanOrt: yeah well join the ranks fo people that hate me…I hear it all the time
[16:54] CL: i do not now, nor have i ever, hated you. please don't insult me by suggesting that.
[16:54] Jenn VanOrt: I am a terrible person for trying to stay in contact with people
[16:54] CL: stop.
[16:54] Jenn VanOrt: you started it
[16:54] CL: i hardly ever get to talk to you, don't waste it by saying things like that.
[16:54] Jenn VanOrt: fair enough
[16:54] Jenn VanOrt: I am sorry if you are
[16:55] CL: if i am what?
[16:55] Jenn VanOrt: sorry for saying what you did..about saying one thing and then not doing it…
[16:55] Jenn VanOrt: I am trying after all
[16:55] Jenn VanOrt: not promising anything
[16:55] CL: ok
[16:55] CL: i'm sorry as well.
[16:56] Jenn VanOrt: ok
[16:56] Jenn VanOrt: so can we change the subject???
[16:56] Jenn VanOrt: please
[16:56] CL: what would you like to talk about?
[16:57] Jenn VanOrt: anything that we won';t figth about …I am pretty on edge–it has beena bad day at home and as you jsut saw I kinda snap a little when even slight ly provoked
[16:57] Jenn VanOrt: how was your xmas??
[16:57] CL: it was ok
[16:57] Jenn VanOrt: get anything cool?
[16:57] CL: not really
[16:58] CL: you?
[16:58] Jenn VanOrt: no–an electirc blanket took the cake for coolest…especially at my mom's since she keeps the house freezing
[16:58] CL: ah, nifty.
[16:59] Jenn VanOrt: sorta
[17:01] CL: so, i'm anxious to answer the questions you posed in the IM the other day, whether or not it's in person.
[17:02] Jenn VanOrt: which question…sorry been a long week
[17:02] CL: [17:32] Jenn VanOrt: anyway, caughtmyself curious about you and what you have been up to so I broke down and visited the website/journal–something I ahve been trying not to do since you told me about your feelings for me for fear of what nasty things you might tell the world about me…was relieved to find my importance had only been exaggerratted in my head and I was nowhere to be found in your writing…but I was disapointed to realize I totally didn't understand anything I had read since I have been such a..well, excuse my language but, such a SHIT about keeping in touch and what not.…
[17:03] Jenn VanOrt: ah
[17:03] Jenn VanOrt: remember now…so what part do you wnat to comment on??
[17:03] Jenn VanOrt: the you and what you ahve been up to??
[17:03] CL: no, where you were talking about not being mentioned in my journal
[17:04] Jenn VanOrt: ohhhh
[17:04] Jenn VanOrt: well then
[17:04] Jenn VanOrt: by all means, enlighten me
[17:04] CL: well, take a look at this: (Link: http://smilingpeanut.com/tmp/site.jpg)http://smilingpeanut.com/tmp/site.jpg
[17:05] CL: this is a screenshot of the archives page, all of the entries written since the inception of that site.… follow?
[17:05] Jenn VanOrt: ok
[17:05] CL: do you see the part highlighted in red border?
[17:05] Jenn VanOrt: I read them all
[17:05] Jenn VanOrt: oh yeah
[17:05] Jenn VanOrt: private?
[17:06] Jenn VanOrt: can I get into those?
[17:06] CL: ok, as the title suggests, all of those entries are classified as private, meaning you haven't read them.…only three people aside from me have access to those entries.
[17:06] Jenn VanOrt: ohhh
[17:06] Jenn VanOrt: ok
[17:06] Jenn VanOrt: so why are you telling me this??
[17:07] CL: in that area, as well as entries i have yet to publish, i have written about you.… because it's not something i really want to share with everyone, including people who shall remain nameless who read the site *every day*.…follow?
[17:07] Jenn VanOrt: sorta
[17:08] CL: so, in other words, i've written about you at great length, just not in areas that everyone can read.…if you'd really like to read them, i suppose i would allow you to.….
[17:09] Jenn VanOrt: that is up to you…I was just curious but now I understand
[17:09] Jenn VanOrt: I just wanted to know if you had been lieing about writing about me
[17:09] Jenn VanOrt: but I see you were honest
[17:09] CL: so, don't underestimate your importance just because you haven't *seen* your name on the site.
[17:10] Jenn VanOrt: noted
[17:11] CL: plus, i hold it from public view for fear of how pathetic it will be interpreted.… i know that you already know that, so it's ok.…but for everyone else, that's a road i've been down before, ie: the old chrislanphear.com after megan and i broke up.…. i dont' want this journal to turn into that
[17:12] Jenn VanOrt: ah, then was I right in thinking it is nasty the stuff you say??
[17:12] CL: no
[17:12] Jenn VanOrt: ok
[17:13] CL: basically, it says something like (and i'm oversimplifying here), "well, i want her, but i seem to have blown my chance, and i'm just gonna have to live with that, unless she decides otherwise".
[17:13] Jenn VanOrt: ah, ok
[17:13] CL: and as far as unpublished, really, a lot of bad poetry.
[17:14] Jenn VanOrt: I see
[17:14] Jenn VanOrt: so what do you do all day that prompts the poetry?
[17:15] CL: i write mostly at nite.…which is why a great amount of the entries don't make any sense.…because i'm really tired.…so it basically just sits there.… although i'm not too good at it, i'm a much better "writer" (and i'll use that term loosely) than i am a "poet".
[17:16] Jenn VanOrt: that is typical of most people
[17:16] Jenn VanOrt: I am moer about poetry though
[17:16] CL: ah
[17:16] Jenn VanOrt: just like the need to stopand pull it all together and the ability to beat around the bush
[17:20] Jenn VanOrt: so what is teh first part of your propfile supposed to say…
[17:20] Jenn VanOrt: it comes up as jargon when I look at your info
[17:22] CL: my aim profile?
[17:22] Jenn VanOrt: yeah
[17:22] CL: If you're reading this, chances are that I know you well enough to have given you this SN. Knowing this, chances are even better that I've written about you in my journal. Have fun. Teehee! –CL
[17:23] Jenn VanOrt: before that
[17:23] CL: um, there isn't anything before that
[17:23] Jenn VanOrt: oh
[17:23] Jenn VanOrt: well it looks like there is
[17:24] Jenn VanOrt: but maybe it is just jargon that describes what is written
[17:24] Jenn VanOrt: afer it
[17:28] CL: um, there shouldn't be.…if you see something that looks like, <span style= .… then it is html code to format the color of the text and stuff like that
[17:28] Jenn VanOrt: ok
[17:28] Jenn VanOrt: that is what I was talkuing about
[17:28] CL: ah
[17:28] CL: you shouldn't see that code, but oh well
[17:29] CL: i'm probably gonna change my profile around anyway
[17:29] Jenn VanOrt: hhe
[17:38] Jenn VanOrt: what are ya gonna put on it now??
[17:39] CL: dunno…haven't decided.…probably something about you 
[17:39] Jenn VanOrt: riiight
[17:39] CL: lol
[17:39] Jenn VanOrt: if it is anythign like the last stuff a guy put on his profile about me I ask you noe to—hate seeing how badly I break hearts each time I check in with firends
[17:39] CL: um, what did he say?
[17:40] Jenn VanOrt: it was something about how I threw a decision back in his face so he felt like he was bleeding, lieing in a gutter…
[17:40] Jenn VanOrt: there was more but that was teh worst
[17:40] CL: damn
[17:41] Jenn VanOrt: yeah
[17:41] CL: don't worry…i don't feel that way…so i doubt i'll put anything like that on there.…plus, if i were to say something to that affect, about anyone, i would put it on the journal, which gets considerably more traffic than my stupid profile
[17:42] Jenn VanOrt: noted
[17:42] Jenn VanOrt: thanks 
[17:42] Jenn VanOrt: well, I think I am gonna go pack
[17:42] CL: but i've been writing a lot today.…so i figured i'd update the profile at some point too
[17:42] CL: ok
[17:42] Jenn VanOrt: cool
[17:43] CL: ok, ttyl.
[17:43] Jenn VanOrt: well I may get a chance to see what you write later or tomorrow but who know with me right?
[17:43] CL: yup
[17:43] Jenn VanOrt: bye
[17:43] Jenn VanOrt:
[17:43] CL: bye
[17:43] *** Jenn VanOrt signed off at Sat Dec 28 17:43:39 2002.
Session Close (Jenn VanOrt): Sat Dec 28 17:43:43 2002
That's it. I'm done. I officially give up.