My mind and my heart are offi­cially over­loaded… I can no longer spew out the ridicu­lous words that have come to be some­what of an out­let for me over the past three years.

I wish I had the courage to say, "Good­bye, cruel World." But I can't. Not yet.

I can say, how­ever: "Good­bye, Inter­net World". You are spared one more sad soul.

Reporter: "Krusty, what does this have to do with any­thing?"
Krusty: "I'm try­ing to tell you that I'm retir­ing. I was just try­ing to do it with some class, you JACKASS!"

"No speeches, no prayers…"