This is my req­ui­site response to any­one, whether they're com­plete stranger at the super­mar­ket or a beloved fam­ily mem­ber, upon express­ing 'Happy [insert hol­i­day here]'.

Please don't take it as an insin­cere cut-off line. It's not. But it works for all occa­sion­sand well, I might add.

I have a love-hate rela­tion­ship with hol­i­days. While I look for­ward to eat­ing and con­vers­ing with my fam­ily, I'm also simul­ta­ne­ously ter­ri­fied by the fact that more than five of my fam­ily mem­bers will be in the same house at the same time.

Don't get my wrong. I love my fam­ily. They're just.…nuts. But there is always lots of turkey, mashed pota­toes, and stuff­ing. Usu­ally a roast. But of course, one of the best things I like about the hol­i­days is the leftovers.

Ah, left­overs. Where the gravy flows like water and stuff­ing is its own food group. Mmm-hmm, noth­ing like the holidays.

With that, my thank­ful (and not-so-thankful) list for this par­tic­u­lar year. In no par­tic­u­lar order.

* * *

I'm thank­ful for being adopted into such a won­der­ful group of friends, par­tic­u­larly youse, youse, and youse. I really couldn't have asked for a more under­stand­ing, won­der­ful, dys­func­tional sur­ro­gate geek fam­ily, and the fact that you've allowed me to become a part of the group means quite a bit to me. I really had no idea what I was in for when I went to 'con, but I'm very glad I did.

I'm thank­ful for being able to re-discover the abil­ity to fall in love. It's com­fort­ing to know that after every­thing, I'm still able to sur­prise myself. Granted, it didn't turn out how I would have liked. But I sup­pose it could be worse. I could be Mormon.

I'm thank­ful for the health and hap­pi­ness of my friends and family.

I'm still not thank­ful for George W. Bush. God, if he gets re-elected, I just may have to move to Canada. But Celine Dion is there, so that might become an issue.

I'm thank­ful for Amy's cook­ies and Jeff's brown­ies. In turn, I must also be thank­ful for milk.

I'm not thank­ful for AOL Time Warner. Boy, wasn't that merger a good idea? Steve Case is the devil.

I'm thank­ful for Michael and Lloyd. I don't know what I'd do with­out them. Well, for starters, I'd prob­a­bly make more money.

More than any­thing, I'm thank­ful for (mostly) sur­viv­ing another year, and hope­fully com­ing out bet­ter than I went into it. Nah, for­get hope. Despite every­thing, I know I have.

* * *

And for those of you cel­e­brat­ing this and other forth­com­ing hol­i­days with cher­ished loved ones, I say: "…and to you as well."