Protected: Not again.

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I was hop­ing you would be wait­ing there for me lately
But you're not the kind who would be wait­ing, not for any­body
Youre not the kind of girl who would be wait­ing for any­body not even me
Third Eye Blind

There's some­one that I miss ter­ri­bly right now, yet it scares me to call, e-mail or oth­er­wise con­tact her. It's been too long since we've talked, and even longer since we've actu­ally seen each other.

Given events of the past week, what with Ash­ley, the (unpro­tected) sex, and the options of a real rela­tion­ship on the hori­zon, I'm scared now more than ever.

I want to go see her, catch up, let things rest. But is that what I would really do, or am I con­di­tion­ing myself to think that's what I'm doing so that I can allow her to crush my chances at some­thing with Ash­ley? I've even begun dream­ing about her again.…which hasn't hap­pened in months.

Ash­ley is a great girl. She was in high school, which I guess I never paid atten­tion to. But I'm try­ing to now, and I'm let­ting the for­mer fuck it up. I can't let myself do this, not again. Not any more.

God­damnit, Megan.

  • http://indiboi.com indi

    The per­son of whom you speak is poi­son to you, much like a boy I care deeply for, but of whose time has past.

  • http://domesticat.net amy

    I suck at leav­ing pithy com­men­tary on these sorts of things on pub­lic sites.

    *shrug*

    My cell has tons-o-minutes. You know the drill.