[You know who you are],

As the sub­ject should imply, I'm writ­ing this as a final attempt at clo­sure between us, as it has now become appar­ent to me that all other avenues have failed.

I don't really under­stand why it was that you con­tacted me last month. At first, I believed the pre­text that you wanted to bury the bad blood and the hurt feel­ings in order to rekin­dle our friendship.

I believed you.

Even though it went against every per­sonal pol­icy I have, I called you back and decided to give this yet another chance.…which, by my count, would make #3. I wanted to believe that you were sin­cere about me and about our friendship.

I know bet­ter now.

Since our con­ver­sa­tion and its short follow-up, how many times have we spo­ken? Zero. Seems as if a "friend" would want to be a lit­tle more involved in a friend's life. As I wrote on my site, I believe that the only rea­son you ini­ti­ated our "make-up" was to alle­vi­ate your own feel­ings of guilt about every­thing that's hap­pened between us and that you had absolutely no inten­tion of becom­ing friends again.

I hate you for that.

At this point, I feel I should con­grat­u­late you, though. It befud­dles me how, but at any rate, you were able to roy­ally fuck me over and then con­vince me to come back for more. That's quite the feat, you know. Of course, it's due to my will­ing­ness to trust.… be cer­tain that I won't be mak­ing that mis­take again.

I refuse to let the hurt­ing con­tinue. I take back every bit of energy or care I ever gave to you– you've shown me that you do not, have not, and will never deserve it. I really don't under­stand why you've cho­sen to do things this way, but I really wish it hadn't come to this. I wanted us to be friends, I wanted to care about you. But it's just become too fuck­ing painful.

Since you pre­vi­ously believed what I said in an entry to be threat­en­ing and it wasn't, per­haps I should spell this out for you. If you're ever to take some­thing I say as threat­en­ing, take this: When some­one becomes my enemy, I pull no punches. Those who have had the unfor­tu­nance to be in that posi­tion could attest to it. And even if I do noth­ing per­son­ally, I whole­heart­edly believe in karma and am con­fi­dent, at least in that respect, that your uppance will come somehow.

As I told Amy, I now know that no one, no mat­ter who they are, ever deserves any­thing more than a sec­ond chance.

I will never for­get how much you hurt me and how much pain you caused in my heart.

I hope you never will, either.