You are not allowed to remake The Cure.

In a truly civ­i­lized soci­ety, this rule would not even need to be men­tioned because it would be one of those great unspo­ken rules that every­one fol­lows. Unfor­tu­nately, this is not the case.

You lit­tle 311 bas­tards think you're above the law? Well guess what: You're not. How­ever much money that Rev­o­lu­tion Stu­dios threw at you to record your homage to "Lovesong" for the 50 First Dates sound­track will not even come close to the dough you'll be spend­ing in court fees when legions of Cure fans come after you ala Night Of The Liv­ing Dead.

Now c'mon, folks. Who wants that?

We were watch­ing a spe­cial on VH1 yes­ter­day about "South Park," of all things. A cen­tral point of the show talked about the episode with Mecha-Streisand and how Robert Smith comes to South Park to destroy Babs and save the town. One of the last lines of the episode is uttered by my friend Kyle, who emphat­i­cally said:

Any­one who disagrees—I'm sorry to say—couldn't be more wrong.