It's been over a week since my attempt. No respon­se­just as I expected and rather pre­ferred. Part of this was con­veyed in a con­ver­sa­tion ear­lier tonite, but damn, did that make me feel better.

What I didn't say in that par­tic­u­lar chat was that the feel­ing was rather fleet­ing. The long-term feel­ing was one of, well, dis­com­fort. Uneasi­ness. Void. What­ever it's called, I'll chalk it up to not really being what I would have wanted. But it's done, though.

…and it's pro­gressed into a feel­ing that I should do more, some­thing to really exact vengeance. When brought up ear­lier tonite, the per­son I was talk­ing to didn't exactly approve of the method of doing so (just flat-out telling every­one). Per­haps right­fully so, but they told me to "just let it go and don't ruin some­one else's life again."

A fun­da­men­tal prob­lem, that state­ment. One: If any­one hurt any­one, I was the one on the receiv­ing end. Two: I've decided that I'm going to be as fuck­ing pissed as I want to for just as long as I want to. Three: I'm going to do what I feel is right for me and no one else. If some­one decides not to agree with my choices, that's just fine with me, but it's not going to be a con­sid­er­a­tion and it's not going to stop me. Think­ing about how oth­ers might feel is no longer worth the effort.

I've already lost enough doing things that way.