To appease those of you on Face­book who have end­lessly tagged me with this meme, I present to you 25 ran­dom things about me. The facts are free, the snark will cost you…

1. While I've spent nearly my entire life here and iden­tify as a Col­orado native, I was not actu­ally born in Col­orado. (Real answer: Kansas.)
2. I have a Bacon num­ber of 3. For those of you who don't know, the Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon is a game where­upon any actor/producer/whoever in the film indus­try can be linked to Kevin Bacon in under six degrees. (Me -> Tales from the Crap­per w/ Eli Roth -> Inglou­ri­ous Bas­terds w/ Cloris Leach­man -> New York, I Love You w/ Kevin Bacon.)
3. I have never used or tried an ille­gal drug. I have no par­tic­u­lar moral objec­tion to them or those who do; I just don't like the idea of requir­ing an arti­fi­cial influ­ence to enjoy myself.
4. Although I'm not par­tic­u­larly fond of the color, I have owned three red cars.
5. I par­tic­i­pated in a Daugh­ters of the Amer­i­can Rev­o­lu­tion speech con­test in fourth grade. I can't remem­ber what the speech was about … all I do know is that I went about seven min­utes over the allot­ted time. Still got sec­ond place.
6. Most of my friends call me Duckie. This comes from the movie Pretty In Pink and is thanks to Amy. I don't even turn my head any­more when some­one says 'Chris'.
7. I have also never smoked a cig­a­rette or any vari­a­tion of them. I con­sider this a byprod­uct of being raised by a fam­ily full of smokers.
8. In front of a crowd of over 500 peo­ple, I was once jok­ingly intro­duced on stage by my then-boss as the head of our company's chap­ter of NAMBLA. Despite this, I con­tin­ued to work for him for nearly two years afterward.
9. I have per­fect vision and am not aller­gic to any­thing. Yeah, you hate me.
10. I got my first taste of video pro­duc­tion in junior high while work­ing on my school's TV sta­tion. We had, for its time, a state-of-the-art facil­ity and I learned edit­ing on a three-screen, two-VTR Pana­sonic deck. Since then, I've done free­lance edit­ing, worked on dragon*conTV and worked for a film stu­dio for five years.
11. I once did some writ­ing for Kevin Smith of Clerks fame. I can't take credit for the movies, though. Those are genius enough on their own.
12. I let­tered in high school, but not in a sport.
13. I once did jello shots with Fran Drescher. She's really quite nice, and doesn't sound remotely like her char­ac­ters on TV.
14. Back To The Future Part II is my favorite film in the series. Not entirely sure why.
15. I started at a new school in sec­ond grade. One kid tar­geted me for ridicule and it went on for months until I decided that I had had enough. At lunch, I walked up behind him and held a fork to his throat for about 30 sec­onds until two teach­ers pulled me off of him. I'm much calmer now.
16. My cat is named after Detec­tive Lennie Briscoe from Law & Order.
17. I love Col­orado and all, but I hate the cold and I've never been ski­ing. I should prob­a­bly move some­where else.
18. I was nearly expelled dur­ing my junior year of high school for a writ­ing I had posted on a web­site I had at the time, and I prob­a­bly would have been kicked out had I not threat­ened to call lawyers at the ACLU (of which I am a mem­ber) for vio­lat­ing my free­dom of speech.
19. I started learn­ing web­de­sign when I was 14. I started charg­ing for it a year later.
20. My first job was as a dish­washer at a soror­ity house when I was 15. Not a bad gig, but that's the clos­est I ever got to food service.
21. I suck at Gui­tar Hero, but I still enjoy it anyway.
22. I can't draw to save my life, and I'm also not that good at cook­ing. I would like to get bet­ter at one of these.
23. I can't go to sleep with­out some­thing play­ing in the back­ground. I find the silence unset­tling. DVD com­men­taries seem to work best.
24. I really don't get the obses­sion that some have with pro­fes­sional sports and find the idea of some­one mak­ing mil­lions of dol­lars for know­ing how to play one well mor­ti­fy­ing. I guess there's just some things that I'm not meant to understand.
25. I'm deathly afraid of two things: heights and spi­ders. If you use this infor­ma­tion to your advan­tage, I may have to kill you out of principle.