You know that you care for some­one … so much so that some­times you feel that your heart, your soul, per­haps even your entire being will explode from this thing, this feel­ing that seems as if it's too big for you to hold.

You know that you have done things for her that have forced you to step out­side of your com­fort zone. You know that this will, with all like­li­hood, con­tinue to be the case. You're okay with this, you really are, because you real­ize that ulti­mately, this is a good thing. She should push your lim­its, she should chal­lenge you. In a way, it excites you — exhil­a­rates you, even. You know that you don't regret this.

You know that you would gladly step in front of traf­fic for her, that you would do any­thing to ensure that she never feels a moment of sad­ness, of doubt, of unhap­pi­ness. You know that noth­ing that's worth doing is easy or painless.

You know that you trust her. You weren't entirely sure of this before, but you know why that is now. You know that there's no doubt in your mind. You know that trust is a two-way street. You know that you have to trust to love, and that with­out this, you're doomed.

You know that you're not per­fect — never were, never will be. You know that you make mis­takes, that some­times you're scared. You know this bet­ter than most. You also know that you can't go through life afraid of your­self, your feel­ings or oth­ers. You know that you're tired of let­ting fear dic­tate your feel­ings and your actions. You know that you can't stand for this any longer. You know that you gave her a chance, and you can't go back on that now just because you were afraid. You know that's part of the gam­ble, part of how it goes. You know that she deserves a chance. And so do you. You know that it's time to trust someone.

You know that you hurt her, and you hurt for it. You know that hear­ing her cry and know­ing that you caused it is quite pos­si­bly the worst feel­ing in the world. You know that's why you couldn't sleep last nite. You know there's noth­ing that can take that sting back. You know that you've made it more dif­fi­cult for her to trust you. But you also know that you're com­mit­ted to make this right, to show her that the whole of you is much more than the snip­pets of you that have brought you to this situation.

You hope that she sees this, and that when she does, she'll know what you know, and know that it's for her. (And for you.)